Precious Noah

-While doing some organizing in the office I found this letter that I had written to Noah on Monday, September 24, 2001. I read it with tears in my eyes and realized how much I have "grown" in the past 9 years and how much things have changed (for the better).
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Noah,

I miss you so much! It's been one year, one month and two days since I held you. I miss holding you. I miss everything about you. I think about constantly. I miss your big, beautiful smile. I miss going in your room in the mornings and seeing you sitting in your bed with a big smile. You were a perfect start to my day. You were my comfort. You always knew when I was sad or having a bad day and you always cheered me up. Thank you. I miss your laugh. No matter how bad of a mood I was in once you laughed I would become much happier. I miss your big eyes and I miss walking through the mall and people passing by saying, "Look at those bis eyes." You had the most beautiful eyes. I miss watching you play. You loved to play. You would play in the floor for hours. Your favorite toys were your dump truck, balls and blocks. You also loved to watch baseball. Daddy and I took you to the Diamond Jaxx game on the fourth of July. I miss feeding you. When you were little your favorite baby food was sweet potatoes, spinach and blueberry buckle - you hated peaches. As you got older your favorite foods were crackers (cookies), mini pancakes, chicken tenders and black-eyed peas. I miss getting you to sleep and putting you to bed. We had a routine, you had to have your blankie and paci and you would lay your head against my chest and I would sing "Jesus Loves Me" until you fell asleep. I often wonder what you would be like if you were here today. How tall would you be? How much would you weigh? Would you still like the same things? When would've started walking? What words would you be able to say? You could say a few words - Mommy, Daddy, car, ball, bye-bye, hush and Bible. You loved Gimmie Pa and Nanny's dogs. You even had your own dog, Noah's Raggady Annie. Mommy loves you so much! You will always be my sweet little Noah Bear (Daddy gave you that name) Daddy loves you a lot too. I'm sorry Daddy and I fought a lot. We're really trying . We still have some problems but we're getting lots better. Our main problem is money now. Mommy is back in school and I have just found out about a very good job that I'm going to interview for this week. That will help out a lot. Plus it will keep me busy. Mommy and Daddy have talked about having a little baby probably within the next year. Would you like to have a baby brother or sister? Noah, I love you and I promise to live my life so that I can see you again.

Love you bunches,
Mom
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A lot of things have changed since writing this letter, maybe I need to write Noah a new letter. One thing still remains the same I still miss Noah and long to hold him in my arms.